Day 27 of 61

Day 27 of 61: Melted like butter

Soooo, I'm the not the most consistent about blogging sometimes. I do apologize, but some days it's just one of many excuse options. The reason, the "excuse", I didn't blog for the last two days was because technology and I don't tango well. It's like dancing with a white boy sometimes. (oh yeah...I do dance with one) Anyways, the computer decided to go on a hiatus. And....of course it was I who touched it last.

So, I enjoy sharing the ins and outs of my days, but I will never forget what this blog is about. I have an addiction, and I need an outlet and support.

Yesterday, was my meltdown. I melted like butter in the mall. I was a hot mess in an air conditioned building. Too be honest, it came so sudden, so random. It totally took me by surprise. I love surprises, but preferably when they include me eating dark chocolate.

I walked by this massive Estee Lauder promotional poster, and it was like someone took the pin out of a grenade!! The ad was featuring: "Buy $29.50 of Estee Lauder products, and receive this $80 worth of products as a gift!" If someone was watching me, they would have witnessed me staring at that poster for at least five minutes. The longer I stared, the worse I got.

I called my boyfriend to try to manipulate him to allow me to shop for boots. I offered to buy me one pair of boots, and he could pay me later, so it would be like a gift. He said a very leery "yes." The problem was he had no clue I was melting down. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let anyone know that I was about to fail.

My head was hurting from a whirlwind of thoughts. I was trying to fight the demons, but I was failing. I knew if I prayed, He would help me. But, I wasn't sure if I wanted to prevail. I wanted to shop. I needed to buy something. I had money. I had $29.50!

I peeled myself from the poster, and with my "yes" from my boyfriend in tow, I headed upstairs to find boots. I cried overwhelming, aching, tears up two flights of escalators. People around me didn't know what to make of me. I knew what I was. I was a mess. I was losing. I was struggling.

I called a friend to help me. She sweetly told me that people have been and are always praying for me, and that I needed to go home. I wanted someone to stop me. I wanted to be rescued. But, only I can rescue myself. Only God can bless me with the strength and favor to do so.

By the time I made it to Nine West, my eyes were red. To make matters worse, I not only saw boots I wanted, but I found a super chic handbag. The handbag was like me jumping off a cliff. I couldn't bear it. I walked out and cried more. I cried down the escalator, bag less and defeated.

Once I made it out of the mall, I soothed my aching head and heart with Hershey's candy ($8) and Argo Tea's Pumpkin Chai tea. With a battered soul, sweets, and hot medicine, I headed home. Finally.

Goodnight,
Discouraged Shopaholic