Day 11 of 61

Day 11 of 61: Watch out!

A couple weeks ago, a friend introduced me to those scratch card machines at the grocery store. Hmmm...grocery shopping then gambling. Nice. God is so not going to be happy. Not with me. And definitely not with her.

So, now every time I pass a grocery store or a gas station all I can think about is the lottery or those scratchy things.

Come on grey stuff reveal my future. Reveal fortune. Reveal closet fulls of Dior, Fendi, Chloe, and Burberry. Shucks. Okay, okay, next box. Come on grey stuff reveal my future. Reveal my contribution to world peace and world domination. Shucks. No worries, time to scan my lottery ticket from last night. Beep. Beep. "Sorry, not a winner!" Thanks for the words of motivation man! My parents always told me different. You d**n black box, you lie! So, this is how this works? I pay a $1 and in return .....abuse. Hmph!

Note to self: gambling is not nurturing.

Anyways, I'm savvy enough to know, gambling is not a fair trade for shopping. But what can keep me off the streets begging for fashion and coupons?

Yes, I know. Say it isn't so, but I have gained some unwanted pounds. I'm curvalicious. Now I want to be sexilicious! Think you've seen sexy before huh? Yeah, well in six weeks you better watch out! This Asian is about to get scandalous looking! He he.

Here's the deal. I have fifty days left. I need to occupy my time. I need to stop eating triple chocolate cake with homemade extra whipped cream. I need to fit my jeans. I need a healthier obsession.

Light bulb! I'm going to have a personal trainer for the next six weeks! Yeah! I can't believe it. This is brilliant. This is strategizing at its finest. Trade an obsession for shopping for an obsession to getting healthy. My mama would be proud.

When I'm at our gym, I always people watch. Hmmm...maybe that's why I don't sweat. I'm too busy watching others sweat. Yeah, yeah, yeah like you don't do it? Exactly. Well, I've always noticed this one particular trainer named Tess. She looks so angelic. There's something about her that makes me automatically feel at ease. She's like the Lazy Boy in the room, comfortable, approachable, and strong. Bad analogy, but you get the idea.

Imagine: Caramel skin, voluminous hair, luscious lips, almond eyes, electric smile, and after six weeks, dynamite stems, svelte tummy, and a tight tush! My sons are going to be like, go mama!!! Watch out! Here I come midriff tops and micro minis. At 30. Oh yeah. 30 and delicious here I come. Booking a one way flight.

Stupid excited. And if your wondering, this no shopping thing is getting a tad bit easier. A microscopic tad. :)

Goodnight,
Discouraged Shopaholic