Day 16 of 61

Day 16 of 61: Taking Action Part I

Let's get a little deeper today. Lets try a different tone.

Yesterdays blog was simple and really short. I was too tired to be witty or serious. But....tonight I need to talk. I need to share, cleanse my soul, and spill my heart into the eyes of friends and family. I want to stir my emotional curiosities. (Okay....I'm not dramatic.)

In yesterdays blog I mentioned a little something about taking gift giving more seriously. So, tonight I will elaborate.

First lets define what type of gift giving I'm speaking of.
Definition: Buy someone I care for an extremely random material gift at an extremely random time.

For as long as I can remember I have loved and enjoyed gift buying to my deepest core. I love everything about it. I love the entire process. I choose, I buy, I give, and then they adore me. What's there not to enjoy?

Choosing the gift usually means hours and hours in tons and tons of stores. Buying means I'm allowed an excuse to shop. Giving means I care, cant' you tell. Adoring me, is an emotion I purchased. It's like a store transaction, I choose, I buy, they give me a thank you, and then they adore me for helping to make their sales goal.

Why am I blabbing about this? Two reasons.
1. Gift buying is about HALF of what I feed my addiction on.
2. I had an epiphany: I don't want to buy material gifts for friends and family. I want to give the gift of action, take TIME to go out of my way to be there for someone. To not give a "cop out" gift that includes shopping. It takes me entirely ZERO effort to buy someone a gift. I desire to give the gift of action: to listen, drive, and be inconvenienced for the sake of love and friendship.

Still with me? See the other day I was on the phone with my "sissy" She had just gotten back from a weekend with her boyfriend's family in Texas. I was excited to know she had safe travels, and was interested in knowing how her trip went. She said something I didn't agree with, and BAM! I tuned out. Just like that, I started to only listen to every fifth word she said. "No, ....fingernail.....work.....drives me crazy...." To be honest, I don't even think she knew I had stopped listening.

It was obviously very, very rude, and extremely selfish and obnoxious. But, it happened so naturally that as soon as I got off the phone with her, I felt like a train hit me. KABOOM!!!! My epiphany danced in my head.

I started to think about how my "sissy" deserves my attention, and not because good social skills and good manners say so. A tornado of thoughts bombarded my head. I started to feel a little sick, inspired, and nauseous all at once.The type of sick when you know you are sooo wrong, and that you've totally screwed up.

Here is this woman, yes she's my sister, but she's a woman. This woman has given the gift of action to me more than I can even begin to count. She has literally drove an hour and half one way, numerous times to be with me. She has sacrificed her time, and dedicated herself to helping me, more often than I shop. Think about that. More than I shop. It's heart quaking to think about. She has helped me move, start my business, raise my sons, .......the list goes on and on. And, I repay her with effortless material gifts and careless listening.

So, this alone, moves me. It stirs my insides, and make me want to be a better child in His eyes. It makes me soooo grateful for His lesson, and... I... just... want... to... .get... an... "A."

So, I've decided to jump start this new way of giving, I will do something special. I want send a care package to ten people (one being my sissy) that I love and adore. Don't you have to buy things to go into a care package Donna Marie? Normally, yes. But, since I still have a crap load of days left, nope.

No, the point is not to buy material nonsense and package it up with a bow, and say "see I care." I am motivated to fill my care packages up with time, thoughtfulness, and effort. Maybe I go on the Internet and print out recipes they might enjoy. Perhaps I go through all my piles of books and pass them on for a great read. I might weed through my closet, and share items that she might enjoy. I am a skilled jewelry designer (fancy), so I could always make a special gift from the thousands of beads I have. Make a card. Make a scrapbook. I have enough scrap booking odds and ends to stock my own aisle at Micheals. See....the gift of action.

I am so grateful for His gift. I will not ignore Him. I will take this time of self awareness to grow.

Good Night,
Discouraged Shopaholic

P.S. My boyfriend says I should go back to being funny and witty. Oh men.